Inspiration has always been the key to my success as it pushes me along and I strive to achieve the best I can. Throughout my life I have had many sources of inspiration: primary school teachers, music teachers, secondary teachers and my friends. However, none are quite like the inspiration I get off my mother.
For as long as I can remember, we've been a big, close family who met up regularly and never fought. Me and my mum manage to have some disagreements but never so serious we wouldn't talk. Therefore, she is the closest person to me and is my rock; she keeps me focused when my life goes aray and picks me up when she knows I'm down. I can always remember this one time when my ex left for univeristy for the first time and I was distraught, I just went upstairs and got in bed with my mum. All she did was cuddle me and I cried; the little things always make the biggest impressions.
My mum has gone through a lot in her life and when she found out she was pregnant with me, that was no exception. She was confounded at the fact she was pregnant at what she classed as a young age - now it would be old with the amount of teenage pregnancy out there. She'd recently finished her studies to become a fully qualified nurse at Doncaster Royal Infirmary and the age of 23, and she was pregnant. I find it inspirational how she decided to keep me and then bring me up as a single mother who returned to live with her parents. It was a struggle for her and she had to return to work shortly after I was born to ensure we had the financial help that was necessary.
During a good two thirds of my life my mum was partned with this bloke that seemed pretty nice to the eye. She fell pregnant again and her partner decided he didn't want a child and left her, so she went through the pregnancy alone once again. After the pregnancy, I had a new baby sister and he was back in our life. Wrong move. On return he favoured my new sister to me, I think its because she was his own flesh and blood. I got the blame for all her mistakes, got nothing compared to how spoilt she was by him and blatantly ignored. I wasn't happy.
After putting up with all his shit for nearly a decade, my mum decided she couldn't do it no more. It was a gigantic messy breakup including police, threats and lawyers before it was all over. He now lives round the corner from us but hasn't attempted to see my sister, or send a birthday card in 3 or 4 years. I don't know how a person could just turn their back on their children. Thats why I don't understand how I don't even know who my father is. It sometimes makes me upset but I wouldn't have it any other way.
My mum is my rock in my life and she always will be. It astounds me how after all the shit she's been through she still manages to lift her head off the pillow to get out of bed in the morning. Most people regret their mothers, but I never will. I refuse to be one of those people who cry after their mums gone, begging to have more time. I will obtain as much time with my mum as possible and I know its going to be hard on us both when I have to leave to go university, but I know thats for the best and she only wants whats best for me. She strives to give me and my sister everything we want even if it comes at a cost. She still manages to enjoy herself with good friends and go out; I wouldn't want her to change for anyone.
I love you mum <3
J
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