Exams

So although I posted twice yesterday, I hadn't in a while. Currently, I am swamped with revision for my final A-level exams as I need certain grades to get the university I want. I'm revising as much as possible but got distracted the past weekend due to the lovely sunshine (I tried to revise outside, I just ended up sunbathing instead).

I am attempting to get some balance in my life. I am doing as much revision during the day, afternoon and early evening as possible so the rest of evening is mine to do with as I chose. I am managing to fit in regular bursts of exercise like aquafit or a good session on Just Dance 1/2/3 which is making me feel so much better in my own body as I'm not too confident about it; I also am eating much healthier due to the nice weather in the case of salads and jacket potatoes. I plan to spend the majority of my time after exams with my closest friends before we all head off to different corners of the UK for university.

After June 21st (my final exam), my summer will be the longest ever - 3 months long! This summer I plan to spend time with my family having BBQs and get togethers, I have a wild week planned in Kos with two of my closest friends, Chris and Harley.. AND arrange nights out, theme park days and days to the beach haha.

Roll on summer!!

Loving the sunshine!

J

My 18th

I should have probably blogged this earlier but I've been busy with exams and petty stuff.. At least I'm doing it now ay?

These are a selection of photo's from my 18th birthday celebrations. It feels good to know I'm 18 now and can do all those things I've already been doing.. On the other hand, I don't want to have to grow up, move out and venture into the real world.

Well here are the photo's of me, acting like a fool in some case haha.


First of all.. I arrived back from the musical on the Tuesday night before my birthday and my loving grandma had trimmed up the outside of my house...

25th April - My Birthday

I spent my 18th birthday playing bass in the school production of Hairspray

26th April - Meal Out

Me and My Sister before we went to The Cumberland

My Uncle James and Me

Me and My Goddaughter - I don't see her half as often as I should!

Embarass me in middle of the pub

My first birthday cake - I'm not looking my best there haha

 5th May - Partyyy (yes, its late - due to the school musical)

My second birthday cake - designed by me!

Me and My Sister, Bethany

Me and Mummy - I love you <3

The grandparents :)

Best friends :)

Me and Adrian - I don't see him that often either BUT he's a pilot, its allowed

Me and Charlie - friends since being sooo young!

Me Chloe Zoe and Jade - My friends are insane but no way would I change any of them!

And then it was time for Doncaster Town Centre...

Fishbowl!

Potential Geordie's ;)

I thank everyone that helped me celebrate my birthday! I had a wonderful time, and I definitely can't wait for the next birthday ;) haha

J

The end of an era

Like others, I have been in school for 14 (or in my case 15) years of my life. Now, I can officially say I am only attending sixth form to sit my exams: no more lessons, no more free periods and no more chatting with people in the common room I wouldn't on a daily basis. It really does feel like the end of an era.

I feel old having to say I've been through nursery, primary, secondary and sixth form now. I am pleased that I have managed to complete them all and just got the final (hardest) hurdle of A-level exams to go. People are always going on about how your school days are the best days of your life, well I believe this now and glad I didn't mess up my experiences.

Doncaster, well England in general, is known for pretty crap weather. But, the past week, we have had heaps of glorious sunshine and scorching temperatures! And when we have sunshine, we make the most of it.

Thursday 24th

Me and Chloe - Lollies in the sunshine - Friends since Year 2

Thursdays and Fridays have been good days for me all year. I have had timetabled one lesson per day all year and they both aren't until the afternoon; so all year I have had a decent end to the week.

Well, Thursday was easily 20°C or more so we felt the need at dinner to have a slight refreshment. One of my very awesome friends, Harley, is a fully qualified driver and very kindly drove us to Iceland to buy some lollies. We got a great deal; 10 orange ice lollies for £1 (10p a lolly!), there were only five of us so got 2 lollies each - much needed - the calories were also checked, 49kcal per lolly. A good investment!

REFRESHING!

Friday 25th - The Last Day

Although I had no lesson until early afternoon, me and my friends agreed to go into school first thing in the morning as a goodbye because it was our last day. It was a non-uniform day as well which made the day and the sun even more enjoyable as we weren't restricted (everyone was so summery).

Chris and Ashleigh

Chloe and Me (look at that blue sky!)

Me and Harley - love her!

We spent most of the day outside sitting at picnic benches just chatting away about summer, university and memories of school. It may sound boring but it was so good. It has become a tradition that on year 13 leavers day, the year 13s play pranks of the school, other pupils and teachers; well our year wasn't about to break that tradition. Pranks begun with sofa's from the common room being taken outside (good job it wasn't raining) and used as normal seats (this generally happens every year). Later on in the day, by period 4, year 13s had ventured out to the shops and returned with water guns of all shapes and sizes. We anticipated a BIG water fight.
We were right to anticipate a big water fight and that was exactly what happened. Water was squirting everywhere: over our heads, from behind or straight in the face. We managed to sit right in the middle of the "war zone" and ended up getting wet every so often but was dry in a matter of seconds. Teachers were shot at with water guns and bombarded with water bottles and bombs; from sociology teachers to heads of year.


As expected, the lads in our year took the fight to a whole new level as brought back eggs and flour. Oh no, we were not ready for this. Eggs flew over heads hitting students cars, benches but thankfully not people. Flour was poured over someones car (a brand new mini) covering the top and unfortunately, their windows were open so the flour also coated the inside with a layer of flour. I felt slightly sorry for the car owner. It would've been worse though if they added water or eggs to the flour so it would stick..


By the end of dinner, outside literally looked like a bomb had gone off. There was empty water bottles sprawled all over the ground, the remnants of cracked eggs and desecrated flour packets. A teacher entered the common room all guns blazing as her car had accidentally been egged and our head of year was forced to clean it up as all the culprits of the egg 'war' has conveniently vanished.




I can't believe its time to say goodbye to my school days; but I have prom and leavers service to get through once these exams are over and done with. Roll on the 21st of June when my last exam is (night on the town is in order).
Onwards and upwards though. Hopefully making it to university to study Primary Education and then onto my working life!


J

Clarity

You always have that moment of clarity in your life. That moment when you realise what you actually do need and what you don't.

Sometimes what you believe is the best option for you, isn't. My advice is not to make sudden, hasty decisions in times of high emotion; your judgement is clouded by your feelings. Make sure you always have the upper hand or on the same level as people otherwise you end up the misfortunate one.

You need to learn in some situations when its time to try and when its time to give up. Learn when your needed and when your not. Also, never let yourself get used and feel worthless. That is never good for your self-esteem.

This post was inspired by the quote I read recently: "you made me feel like we had something and then you left, just like it was nothing". This is what has got me through tough times recently. Make sure you don't let things get to you because that's never good and you are or will be important to some; you will be their world.

Make the right decisions

J

My Inspiration

Inspiration has always been the key to my success as it pushes me along and I strive to achieve the best I can. Throughout my life I have had many sources of inspiration: primary school teachers, music teachers, secondary teachers and my friends. However, none are quite like the inspiration I get off my mother.

For as long as I can remember, we've been a big, close family who met up regularly and never fought. Me and my mum manage to have some disagreements but never so serious we wouldn't talk. Therefore, she is the closest person to me and is my rock; she keeps me focused when my life goes aray and picks me up when she knows I'm down. I can always remember this one time when my ex left for univeristy for the first time and I was distraught, I just went upstairs and got in bed with my mum. All she did was cuddle me and I cried; the little things always make the biggest impressions.

My mum has gone through a lot in her life and when she found out she was pregnant with me, that was no exception. She was confounded at the fact she was pregnant at what she classed as a young age - now it would be old with the amount of teenage pregnancy out there. She'd recently finished her studies to become a fully qualified nurse at Doncaster Royal Infirmary and the age of 23, and she was pregnant. I find it inspirational how she decided to keep me and then bring me up as a single mother who returned to live with her parents. It was a struggle for her and she had to return to work shortly after I was born to ensure we had the financial help that was necessary.

During a good two thirds of my life my mum was partned with this bloke that seemed pretty nice to the eye. She fell pregnant again and her partner decided he didn't want a child and left her, so she went through the pregnancy alone once again. After the pregnancy, I had a new baby sister and he was back in our life. Wrong move. On return he favoured my new sister to me, I think its because she was his own flesh and blood. I got the blame for all her mistakes, got nothing compared to how spoilt she was by him and blatantly ignored. I wasn't happy.
After putting up with all his shit for nearly a decade, my mum decided she couldn't do it no more. It was a gigantic messy breakup including police, threats and lawyers before it was all over. He now lives round the corner from us but hasn't attempted to see my sister, or send a birthday card in 3 or 4 years. I don't know how a person could just turn their back on their children. Thats why I don't understand how I don't even know who my father is. It sometimes makes me upset but I wouldn't have it any other way.

My mum is my rock in my life and she always will be. It astounds me how after all the shit she's been through she still manages to lift her head off the pillow to get out of bed in the morning. Most people regret their mothers, but I never will. I refuse to be one of those people who cry after their mums gone, begging to have more time. I will obtain as much time with my mum as possible and I know its going to be hard on us both when I have to leave to go university, but I know thats for the best and she only wants whats best for me. She strives to give me and my sister everything we want even if it comes at a cost. She still manages to enjoy herself with good friends and go out; I wouldn't want her to change for anyone.

I love you mum <3

J

A Reflection

Due to being nearly two decades into my life (that sounds like forever), I thought I'd start my blog off with a reflective look at my life so far, so looks like it might be a long one :)

Early Years

Well that's me, a few months old, with all that cute baby plumpness; things were pretty simple back then, no big worries or stresses. I had a decent childhood, I was the only child/grandchild for four years until all my other relatives started giving birth (we're now at eight grandchildren, me included). I played and got spoilt, just like the first child always does; me and my mum lived at my grandparents house until I turned 2 when we moved into the accommodation we still live in now. I may have mentioned I was spoilt, but I don't mean extremely, just that my family always made sure I had what I needed or wanted; although things have changed now there's more of us. As demonstrated in the portrait above, I was (and still am) a stubborn individual, I like to "think" I'm always right, but more often than not, I'm usually wrong.

I started nursery at the normal age and became best friends with a boy who I got to dress up in tutu's with me, dancing around the nursery. I was a shy child so didn't really communicate with many other kids myself so ended up playing alone a lot of the time; to me that sounds pretty sad on my behalf but I've never really gotten over it so in my life I've become quite independent in that sense. Me and my best friend at the time grew apart when we were in primary so I found myself sitting on my own at break and dinners (now don't all go feeling sorry for myself - I've got good friends now). This was until a girl approached me wanting to play because I was alone, after this me and her was best friends for years, well into secondary school and have still managed to stay friends now.

For me, primary school was the best part of my life because there were no worries and no big problems; the biggest problem would have been why someone wouldn't play a hand-clapping game with you. But there also wasn't anyone to tell you how hard secondary school and the rest was going to be. Breaching into secondary was when the fun would really begin, when I would life major life lessons, make mistakes and learn from them.

Secondary School

Secondary brought together so many different cliques from all different walks of life so it came as a real shock to me when I was forced to speak to people I wouldn't normally. I'd grown accustomed to talking and hanging around with the same group of people for years and felt like a fish out of water when I was placed into a form with people from my primary I hardly spoke to.

From as early as the transition into secondary, I was sort of a geek; I achieved levels 5s in my SATs, always did as I was told in school so became a 'teachers pet' and played a musical instrument - however, little did I know that all this would make me the person I am today. I've always been embarrassed with being a little geeky and envied some of the people that were perceived as 'cool' and were able to offer their opinions to teachers. But, I later realised that this wasn't who I wanted to be and was happy about the person I was becoming. Throughout secondary I managed to make friends with completely different people than I was used to and I grew near and far from them all at different time.
Secondary has been a big part of my life, its opened me up to what life's really like and opened my eyes to all the problems you have to overcome and the life lessons that need learning as quickly as possibly. I had a lot of my 'firsts' in secondary including my first kiss, my first "real" boyfriend and my first time being drunk. I met some amazing people in secondary and had experiences that will stay with me forever.


Sixth Form


During the end of secondary and into sixth form, I made a lot of mistakes that I regret but they all shaped me into the person I am today. When it came to the matter of love, this was the time I had my first love and it was the strongest feeling I've ever felt. I was childish in the lengthly relationship I had and didn't understand. I've always heard that your first love is the one you'll always remember but at the time, I had no idea how I felt in the relationship was stupid in the sense that I ended up throwing it all away. I saw myself as being this loving girlfriend being the best that I could be but looking back on it, I could have made the relationship a whole lot better. It goes without saying that your first love will always be in the depths of your heart and it will take a long while before your fully over them. I'll try as hard as possible to make things better again but sometimes I feel like its a lost cause; but still I am determined to turn my life around in all aspects.


Another important factor in sixth form life is the work load; the step up from GCSE to A-level is tremendously big and I don't think anyone can stress how much more difficult A-levels are - in all honesty, you need to experience it before you understand. Personally, I study Biology, Maths, Music and English Language; I could've dropped down to just 3 A-levels but I like a challenge. All A-levels have a certain element of difficulty within but I think some are more tricky than others thats why I think my A-levels are particularly hard.


What I've got planned now...


Hopefully, I will gain the relevant A-level qualifications to study Primary Education at university and would love to study my chosen degree at Edge Hill University. I've always enjoyed working with children so knew education would be right for me; I primarily chose primary as this was the most influential point of my own education and wanted to influence children at that time just like I was influenced.


To know what I plan to or want to do in my life from now on, I plan to write a big 'to do' list in another blog/post including all the things I'd love to do in my life.


J